The Ache Within The Brain

I’m trying not to dwell upon the ache within my brain,
It’s just so damned annoying that I’ll never be the same.
That morning in September, no, that eve three days before
Has ensured that life is different and certainty’s no more.

Now I know that I’m in danger of becoming a sad git
Who dwells upon their illness and hangs their life on it.
I really do not want that, I really want to live
But it is so very different and some things have to give.

To some I seem the same and to others, well, they say
When I’ve done something v. stupid, “Oh I did that the other day.”
I know it’s being helpful, I know it’s being kind
But what they cannot recognise is, that leak has blocked some of my mind.

It hurts not finding answers, hitting that brick wall
And it hurts so very badly to depend on one and all
So I need to rise above it, need to get a life
But sadly things have changed since going under surgeon’s knife.

I’m indebted to all those people who were shocked to the core
Who have been so supportive and couldn’t have done more.
But they all have their own lives, so I should stay in touch,
Even though communication now unnerves me so much.

And multi-tasking’s not an option, concentration don’t exist,
The only way to get through the day is by following a list.
There’re other annoying ailments but it could’ve been much worse
I’ve been immensely lucky and lived through a massive burst

I know that I’m now different, I know things aren’t the same
I know I have to conquer this, life’s cruel, mental game.
It’s not proving very easy, not proving very swift
But I’m determined not to lose out on this very precious gift.

I’ll keep taking all the tablets, for although they put on weight
They’re the antidotes that are keeping me away from Heaven’s gate.
And I’ve learnt how life is precious, and that friends and family
Are the only things that matter. You are all the world to me.